Instead of a sweet message, I received a professional-looking invoice. It listed bizarre “charges” like a hug for the bouquet, a coffee date for the keychain, and holding hands next time as repayment for dinner. It ended with a threat: if I refused, he’d tell Chris—his friend and Mia’s boyfriend.

I sent it to Mia, who was horrified. She involved Chris, and together they crafted a “revenge invoice” charging Eric for “the privilege of sitting across from me” and warning of public humiliation if he didn’t stop.

Eric exploded with angry texts, insisting I was missing out on a “great guy.” I replied with a thumbs-up emoji and blocked him.

Mia later called, laughing at the absurdity. Eric’s true colors showed quickly, turning a potential dating disaster into a hilarious story—about the man who actually invoiced a first date.